I am so discouraged tonight. One would think that after 4 days away from my job and my kids (I'm a youth director) I would be happy to be back with them, but I'm not. This morning with the kids wasn't so bad--I won't talk about all my Sunday school teachers who didn't show up--but by this afternoon I didn't even want to be around the kids. Everything they did made me irritable. I can't see the potential anymore, it seems, just the annoying bits. I feel like a drill sergeant more than a minister and I know they feel it, too. I desperately need to be somewhere else, I just don't know where to be, where to go. But I do know that this is not fair to me or them. We both need and deserve better. If something doesn't change soon, I'll be damaging them, not helping them.